Your Stories
They weren't taken from me because I don't love them
Years ago I was in a really bad place with DV, drug use, homelessness. I didn’t know where to turn for but I knew I needed help, so I went to DCJ to ask for support. They removed L from me on the spot and then went to my family members home to take my younger children and I was placed in a psychiatric ward. I went for weeks without being allowed to see my children. They were separated and have never lived together again since that day. I was distraught, lost, ashamed, angry, heartbroken, guilty and desperate to get my kids back …..but was offered no help.
Don’t think DCJ are going to offer you the help you need in order to keep your children. Caseworkers are inexperienced and don’t have the ability to understand DV victims trauma rather look for black and white options. Make sure you always have an independent witness with you. Their word against yours. Play your cards close to your chest.
With DCJ – [are relationships possible?] no because their processes get in the way. Nothing is in the real best interest of the children. My children were removed from my care, sent away, brought and bought back to a hotel. I was only allowed to see them and know where they were after 1 year.
With [a new NGO] – it changed and I was given a little bit of hope to have children restored to my care. Again, DCJ stopped that. With [current NGO] – absolutely yes. Showed care and compassion and meet my expectations of the kids needs. I am allowed to voice my concerns and opinions without fear of retribution. They have helped bring all my children back together again, I have been allowed to stay over night with my children in their settings. They are allowed to call me. Even when we have a disagreement my voice is still considered. They help me care for my kids across states and ensure all the siblings and family can see each other in natural settings, not a DOCS office.
When the children were removed, I was offered no one to speak to. Offered no pathway to support restoration, not even offered the Aboriginal liaison officer – essential when working with First Nations families. Helpful would have been a caseworker with experience. Someone to show me what way to turn, how to build supports to help me get back. The difference between keeping my kids and losing them was support. I had none. I asked for some. Even after they took my kids they didn’t give me help, they only got in my way. Given support earlier, my kids would’ve been home with me, not spread across the country, separated from their family. First I didn’t know where they were, who they were with. No communication with caseworker. Moved across country, no access to me. No family support here. Still homeless. Not allowed to see them. Know things about them.
[It’s] not always black and white. So many factors that don’t come out of a text book. Parents need to be considered. Always being told what rights we have lost. Never told what my rights were. I love my kids, they weren’t taken from me because I don’t love them. I needed support to care for them. I only want the best for them. The most important thing for kids and parents is to respect their love and attachment, help nurture that to grow, not pull it out by the roots and toss it in the bin.