About relational care

What do we mean by relational care?

Imagine meeting a 10-year-old child in a hotel room, looked after by youth workers on shift. You knock on the door, and a 20-year-old youth worker—unaware of your visit—opens it. The child has been through over 40 foster placements, with no carers available to manage their aggressive behaviour. How do you feel before entering? Inside, you find a small child, hood over their eyes, meeting yet another new person. How do you feel now?

What does this child need? The same as any other child: safe, predictable, and enduring relationships that protect and help heal from harm. 

Children need real connections—family, culture, friends—where they feel loved, safe, and accepted by people they trust. When children grow up disconnected from family and culture, they lose their sense of belonging and identity, leaving them vulnerable to isolation and further harm. They face higher risks of entering out-of-home care, abuse, incarceration, poor health, poverty, and losing their own children to the system.

Relational care prioritises relationships. It ensures these children aren’t seen as ‘too hard’ or ‘damaged,’ but as needing safe, loving, and stable relationships to heal from trauma.

Imagine a system that measures relational connection over risk, knowing that the more connected a child feels, the safer they are. Relational care creates a Child Connection System, not just a Child Protection System.

What does a "real relationship" mean for a child?

As outlined by Cornell University's CARE Model, Relational Care defines real relationships for children as those that provide: 

• A sense of belonging - to family and others
• Connection to significant people - ideally more than one
• A meaningful role - such as being a brother, sister, daughter, or son
• Connection to place, country, and community
• A strong sense of identity and culture
• A guiding system of values - forming a stable and enduring sense of self
• Reliable support - knowing who to turn to when needed
• Access to information and knowledge - to understand who they are, where they fit, and how to live meaningfully.

What informs relational approaches to care?

Relational care focuses on building positive, trusting relationships between caregivers and children, underpinned by attachment, trauma-informed, and culturally responsive practices.

Attachment

Attachment is about children having the relationships and connections they need to feel safe and secure often enough, and from these experiences, develop self-worth, and build resilience. This sets them up to be able respond to the challenges of life, and to thrive. Caregivers lead the development of these relationships by being sensitive, accepting, responsive, and consistent.

If a child is feeling emotional or physical pain (from fear, shame, or injury) their body goes into ‘threat response’. These relationships and connections ensure the child is not alone in this pain. They support the child to move to a place – physically or mentally - where they feel connected, safe, understood, and can be open to new experiences.

The nature of these relationships and connections can vary across different cultures. For example, Aboriginal cultures are upheld by a kinship system that extends beyond immediate caregivers, family, and even human relationships, to include the physical environment (country) and spiritual connections (ancestors), fostering a deep sense of belonging and security from an early age.[1]

Trauma-informed care

Trauma-informed care recognises the impact of trauma on children in out-of-home care. This approach involves creating a relational culture and environment that promotes healing and recovery by considering the child’s past experiences. Trauma-informed care asks what has happened to the child, rather than just what is ‘wrong’ with the child.[2] Caregivers who understand trauma can help build resilience and improve the overall well-being of children in their care.

Culturally responsive care

Culturally responsive care values the diverse backgrounds of children in care. This means caregivers understand and incorporate the cultural, ethnic, and religious identities of the children they care for. By doing so, they help children feel more connected to their heritage and identity, which fosters well-being and belonging.